Members of the LGBTQ community, we need to have a talk. It is something we look over every day and most of us personally don’t like to think about it. We’re talking about hitting on straight friends. I know what you’re going to say, “we’re just close friends, I don’t personally mean it and they know that.” I’m calling BS on that one. Not only is it kind of rude, but it is also inconsistent with how we see ourselves.
Look, the LGBTQ community has adopted their messages to a “born this way” appeal. We’re queer because we think that being queer is a manifestation of our identity and something that is at our core. Of course, just because it is part of our identity, doesn’t mean that we must embrace it fully. Look at the cases of queer people who marry and have kids and everything before coming to terms with who they are. They’re a prime example.
If we want to hold to that “born this way” message, then we must also accept that your straight best friend was also born that way too. Trying to convert your straight friends or being their “experiment” will only cause more harm than good. What I’m trying to say is that if they are queer and don’t know it yet, then they should come to terms to it on their own accord. You cannot force that.
We as the LGBTQ community need to keep consistent with this “born this way” message in contemporary society. If not, then our community faces the same scrutiny as it did prior where religious groups accused us of “choosing the wrong love”. In this age, we do not have the time to back track just because a gay guy wants to sleep with his straight best friend.
Yes, it seems problematic that there is this divide. The LGBTQ community has gone through the process of “coming to terms” or “coming out” and we have to remember how life changing that was for us. It was a big part of most of our queer lives and we cannot subject a straight person to such changes to their life when it is not part of them. Nothing is worse than hooking up with your straight friend and then they realize that queer is not for them. Friendships break over stuff like that.
If you love your straight friends, then you’ll respect who they are just the way they are, just like how they respect us for who we are. No more dropping hints that your DTF. No more half-hearted sexual jokes. What comes of it will come at its own time, if they believe they are queer. If not, then that’s okay, because they were born that way.